Friday, October 19, 2012

My SOUL-ution

There was once a time I never thought I'd make it to see 23
But I have to thank God for this gift, that’s why we call it the Present
"Be grateful for what you got some people got it rougher than you
and they're suffering too", Words my grandmother said.
So when I think about my problems I feel ashamed that sometimes I complain
Yea, I had to walk around in the same clothes and shoes for 4 years straight,
but truthfully I'm just thankful God gave me those clothes in the 1st place
Nowadays I have to think the lowest out of people I used to think the highest of
Hating someone you used to care about so much is the most painful kind of love
I hit rock bottom on more than one occasion but instead of complaining
I'm using that as motivation and continuing to praise Him
But I'm doing better now, aiming for the top like a barber
Only thing I chase is money so the only bitch that can get to me is Karma
Someone said I changed for the worst, I said it was for good reasons
Dealing with disappointments and the knowledge that people will change like the seasons
Loyalty is rare and I decided that I should wear my bullet proof vest backwards
So if you gonna stab me in my back I already made sure I was prepared for it bastards
And more than ever relationships are a curse
Only because we accept the love we think we deserve
And I've learned, that Trust is a lot like paper
if it crumbles it will never be able to become perfect again
So instead of preparing for the beginning most people prepare for the end
So i wish to live with this below freezing feeling in my chest
I put my energy in the wrong places and gave my time to the wrong people
You only live once, but sometimes i pray that there'll be a sequel
To redo some mistakes, and take some of these regrets away
I’m still looking for a way,
But now i try to carry the load of all my baggage
I carry the pain in my heart in one hand and my current struggles in the other
but i still manage to find time and bring my hands together to thank God
My greatest skill is that i can get up after being knocked down so many times
Knocked down so hard that all I could see is stars
And the sight of those just gave me some inspiration and my determination
Haters who loved seeing me down became my motivation
If I don’t do better for my sake I'll do better for yours
Those who wanted to see me stay down all those times
and not knowing God was testing me I suffered through it more
But got up again, thanked Him, and kept it moving
I'm such a winner, I’m still currently a sinner, not perfect don’t try to be
but don't lie about it either, I'll get it right one day
But living in the moment is my guilty pleasure
Still I put my heart and soul on the line every time i rhyme
and for all those times I would seek an answer
This poetry became my way of opening up my soul
For the people who loved seeing my pain and my downfalls this became retribution
Y’all became part of the reason i was reborn as the SOUL-ution
So i wear that title in my name more arrogantly than before
All my struggles and all my pains are the reason i made it to the top floor
Because if it wasn’t for pain i wouldn’t know what true happiness feels like
I wouldn’t be inclined to accept the rain in order to appreciate the sun light
So the question i asked myself is how will I be able to make it through my struggles
I understand that the sun will shine, even when it rains
Happiness is always there, even in the face of pain
Consistency will always remain, even in the midst of change
So to accept the things i cannot change is a part of evolution
But to face my doubts and fears head on and open my heart,
That became my SOUL-tion

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